Thursday, August 20, 2009

Oh Heyll No, I Don't Want Donald Sutherland's Face, We're Talking Keifer Here

And that? Is a mostly true story. Right up until the part where the zombie stabbed a bitch in a fast food Chinese restaurant.

Go forth. Share the legend.


PS. This morning when I woke up I realized that our house was entirely sans any kind of diet, caffeinated beverage. So after going on a morning rampage of evil and dropping the kid off, I swung through my fave McD's to see Jobstopper Granny.

I love Jobstopper Granny. This morning? Every 3 inch fingernail was a different neon color. Rad.

When I got my tasty beverage, I rushed to gulp it down and immediately a good portion of it ran right down my cleavage. Like it made a beeline for the breasts. So I quickly stuffed a napkin down there, but just as I was jamming the napkin down, the liquid ran under my boobs where it began to form icy pools.

Icy, cold pools of carbonated freeze.

PPS... Did I mention I was on the highway entrance ramp when the pools formed? Swerving and yelling "It's pooling, It's pooling! Oooh, It's cold! It's cold and it's pooling." - I then realized just how NOT pliable my bazooms are.

So yeah, I bring you zombie goodness in a cold, wet bra with what can now be described as breasticles.


Annabelle said...

Have a sticky day!

for a different kind of girl said...

I just pulled a potato chip out of my bra. Put us together in a room or a car, if you will, and we'd be the start of a pretty decent potluck or maybe a lunch they serve at the homeless shelters. It was a generic potato chip, after all.

And in case you're wondering, no, I didn't eat the chip. Tempting, though.

Gypsy said...

You crack me up.

Also? Seeing a 1/2-armed zombie shank a lady with Donald Southerland's face would totally make me drop my noodles.

"My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out, buddy!"

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

I'm glad the cartoons made a comeback. I love BetseyBooms cartoons. And I'm LOVING the new template.

Randy said...

Sadly, when one takes on the facial likeness of a Sutherland those really great boobs disappear....

See if you had Sutherland's face with no boobs to stop it frozen fall, you would have had icy cold pooling in the..... crotch area.

IB said...

"Breasticles". Heh. Classic

flutter said...

shit. I just totally dropped my noodles

adrienne said...

i love the photos on your new banner!

p.s. how is it that you are able to see me?

MommaKiss said...

That cold cold soda just could not WAIT to get to the cleave.
Love the sticks!

Miss Yvonne said...

That's why my boobs are so awesome...because I can fling those puppies all over the place to get at whatever I've spilled in there.