So I've been on this ridiculous, subconsciously imposed blogging hiatus, and it's come to the point where I either start again or we might find that the oven door doesn't close with my neck in the way.
I was promoted at work and it turned my days and my mind to a pile of steaming... well, pile.
In the midst of the promotion my awesome, family-like small company sold themselves to the highest bidder. The beginning of this new year has a decidedly more corporate existence. Which is decidedly not mega.
I woke up yesterday and I looked at this strange brunette in the mirror. Getting into my car felt stiff and awkward and then I walked into a place that I had a hand in creating and it just felt foreign and down right weird. Then it was capped off with further unfamiliarity and depression catalysts when I filled out a horseshitty amount of corporatey paperwork and I felt my soul shrivel. The whole day was just entirely out of body.
Out of body and bordering on splitting into multiple personalities.
Like I need help with being weird.
I guess what I'm saying is I HAVE to come back here and do this or... or... these stupid life insurance policies that I'm looking at will equal woohooo, partay, look who won the lottery day for the mister.
It's this or living with the absence of a soul and identity.
And when the hell did I start writing like an angsty, 14 year old honors English student's diary reads?
Meh.
Also? I haven't drawn a zombie in months.
I'm dead inside.
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8 comments:
Hi. :)
corporatey? horseshitty? 2 of my new favorite words.
Weird is ... weird, here's to you getting it all OUT!
mommakiss
Hang in there! I have been there before. Even if you're not religious, just praying really helps. And the serenity prayer. Praying the serenity prayer in the bathroom has gotten me through many a horrid, souless day
Oh, my wonderful, dear, sweet friend. How I have missed you. Oh. So. Much.
I've pretty much been gone too - and I realized I'm way more exciting in my real life when I feel pressured to be entertaining on my blog.
Did they evict the hobo from outside the building when they got all corporatey?
((hug))
Welcome back! And I totally went through the same thing ... sorry to say that it took a YEAR to get better. But it DID get better, so stick it out and vent to us, your bloggy peeps. 'Cuz we're all up and needy like that.
Jesus. I was ready to stalk you by any means necessary! SO glad you're back!
Horseshitty is now one of my top 5 favorite words.
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